She’s had no less than twelve books come out
Since that fateful day with water spout
With remarkable wits
On a quarter she sits
Handicapped? What are you talkin’ ’bout?

Event: Birth of Helen Keller
Year: 1880
Learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_Keller

The Wordsman is back from vacation.  Here’s a little reminder of our most recent KYPC challenge, for those who have not yet had a chance to respond to it:

Okay, I admit it: that was kind of hard.  Lucky for you, the lovely assistant has swooped in to save the day with an easy challenge: animals.

What?  You say we’ve already done animals?  Well, you ain’t done these animals.  These ain’t yer common households dogs and cats, kids.  Things are about to get dangerous.  Look!  There’s a shark!  And a gorilla and a panda (they look cute, but brother, you don’t want to mess with them.  And yes, I am talking about gorillas here).  And what about birds?  You ever see that movie, The Birds? I haven’t, but it still scares the hell out of me, which is why I keep my distance from all the swans, ostriches, and flamingos running around.  But that’s not the worst of it.  This challenge contains the most dangerous animal of them all.

Because no one ever suspects . . . the butterfly!

A. 鸵鸟 B. 火烈鸟 C. 蝴蝶 D. 大熊猫 E. 天鹅 F. 大猩猩 G. 鲨鱼

All her reign, she was greeted with cheers
As a ruler she has but few peers
And the quote is misused:
She was often amused
As she ruled for near sixty-four years

Event: Victoria becomes Queen of England
Year: 1837
Learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victoria_of_the_United_Kingdom

The Wordsman is going on vacation, so there may not be much posted in the coming week.  This Day in History, at least, will keep going as ever, but the rest may experience a slight hiatus.  Stay tuned!

Yes, to silence you have ev’ry right
And to lawyer as well, so sit tight
Cash flow all out of joint?
Counsel we will appoint
All these phrases a cop must recite

Event: The Supreme Court rules in Miranda v. Arizona that defendants must be made aware of certain rights, otherwise their testimony will be inadmissible in court
Year: 1966
Learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miranda_v._Arizona

A. 秋の田の 仮庵の庵の 苫をあらみ

B. あしびきの 山鳥の尾の しだり尾の

C. 奥山に 紅葉踏みわけ 鳴く鹿の

D. 田子の浦に うち出でてみれば 白妙の

E. 春すぎて 夏来にけらし 白妙の

1. 声きく時ぞ 秋は悲しき

2. 富士の高嶺に 雪は降りつつ

3. ながながし夜を ひとりかも寝む

4. 衣ほすてふ 天の香具山

5. わが衣手は 露にぬれつつ

Well, I just finished a class on Japanese poetry, so I should be an expert in analyzing these things, right?  Let’s see what we’ve got:

A, our first opening, goes a little something like this:

Because the thatched roof
Of my temporary hut in the fields of autumn
Is so rough,

And here is how our contestants (all three of them, in fact) chose to finish it:

Snow is continuously falling
On the high peak of Fuji

They’re all technically wrong, but points to Shirley for likening it to “Dover Beach,” whose tone is most in tune with the original (try A-5 next time).

B is:

The dropping tail of the pheasant
Of the mountains, wearing your feet ever down
Is long, long

This time our contestants split opinions:

Theoman:

When I hear its voice
That is when I know autumn is saddest

A Fan:

Clothes are drying, I hear
On heavenly Mount Kagu

Shirley:

As is this night
Must I spend it sleeping alone?

Shirley’s poetic sense served her best here, but considering the content of the poem, Theoman’s analysis of the theme as “there is honor in suffering” is an intriguing one.

C:

The deer
Walking through the fallen autumn leaves
Lets out a cry

Theoman decided to pair this one with the clothes drying, and A Fan gave the long, lonely night a shot.  Shirley, on the other hand, tried something new:

My sleeves are dampened
Over and over by the falling dew

But they’re all wrong.  C goes with 1: is there anything sadder than the cry of the deer?  I have no idea, actually.  If it wasn’t for Japanese poems, I wouldn’t even know that deer make sounds.  Credit to A Fan, because I’m pretty sure all those Kipling poems are really depressing.

D:

When I go out
To Tago Bay and look back
The whitest

The whitest what, you ask?  Opinions varied.  Theoman and A Fan both thought it was “my sleeves,” a very reasonable thing to suspect, but Shirley went a little more abstract, attaching this adjective to “voice.”  None thought to link it to snow, though (2).  You know, snow?  That white stuff that falls from the sky?  At least Theoman has the humility to admit his mistake, while Shirley seems to be linking it to alcohol.

E:

Spring has passed
And summer, it seems, has come
The whitest

Yes, that’s right, the third line of poem-starters D and E are identical.  Iiiiidentical.  So how to differentiate the two?  Well, by the season, of course.  Not gonna get much snow in summer.  No, in summer you use the heat to dry clothes.  Shirley understands that.  Our other contestants, on the other hand, decided to sleep alone (well, I suppose it would be cooler), or to listen to “white voices” and then become sad (someone’s been reading too much Kipling).  Still, Theoman got perhaps the most important part: no matter what they say, secretly, all–and I do mean all–poetry is about “something about love.”  So points to him, and points to A Fan for enriching us with a poem about some dead kid, and to Shirley for actually knowing the most about Japanese poetry (which should have been painfully obvious the moment she mentioned cherry trees).

Okay, I admit it: that was kind of hard.  Lucky for you, the lovely assistant has swooped in to save the day with an easy challenge: animals.

What?  You say we’ve already done animals?  Well, you ain’t done these animals.  These ain’t yer common households dogs and cats, kids.  Things are about to get dangerous.  Look!  There’s a shark!  And a gorilla and a panda (they look cute, but brother, you don’t want to mess with them.  And yes, I am talking about gorillas here).  And what about birds?  You ever see that movie, The Birds? I haven’t, but it still scares the hell out of me, which is why I keep my distance from all the swans, ostriches, and flamingos running around.  But that’s not the worst of it.  This challenge contains the most dangerous animal of them all.

Because no one ever suspects . . . the butterfly!

A. 鸵鸟 B. 火烈鸟 C. 蝴蝶 D. 大熊猫 E. 天鹅 F. 大猩猩 G. 鲨鱼

The slap had clearly been a ruse, designed to convince her that these two were no more in cahoots than any other two random subway passengers.  In fact, they were co-conspirators, locked deep in a plot to . . . okay, that part could come later.  But this, this was her man on the outside, her means of communication with the rest of the world.  Through him the entire scheme was orchestrated.  And Officer Tang knew what happened to an orchestra when you take away the conductor.  At least, she assumed she did.  I mean, a bunch of musicians without a clear authority figure?  Come on.

The old woman was—so far, at least—untouchable.  But no woman is an island.  Everyone has a link, a connection, a weak point.  And Officer Tang had just found it.  She knew her mission: get . . . whoever this guy was.

Note: acquire high-tech long-range listening equipment before next observation.

Fortunately, not long after she had this realization, the young man left.  This was it.  The perfect opportunity to catch him on his own.  She would start off casually, asking him a few questions about a completely unrelated topic (which, since she was a police officer, he would have no choice but to answer).  She would get some key information: his name, address, phone number.  And then she would DESTRO—

Before she could deal out any biblical wrath, however, she collided with a large, soft individual.

“Where the hell do you think you’re . . .?” she started to roar.  And then she looked up.  Officer Tang clearly had much sharper eyes than the average person he saw every day on duty.  “Escobar?  What are you doing here?”

Neither of them was supposed to be there, but only one had been specifically ordered by their boss not to be there.  The guilt scale shifted decidedly toward Tang.  “Good morning, Officer Tang,” he said.  Escobar had a low, slow voice that was easy to miss if you weren’t listening for it.  And since he rarely used it, few people ever were.  “I thought the Captain said you should take the day off.”

“I am.”  She had . . . almost no qualms with lying for the sake of the greater good (when she did it, that is).  “I’m off-duty.”

“You’re wearing your uniform.”

“I—I’m doing laundry.  Nothing else is clean.”

“And your gun—?”

“Listen, Officer Escobar, I’d love to stay and catch up, but I’m in the middle of something very important right now, so . . .”

She looked around.  The conspirator had disappeared.  DAMN! Oh well.  She knew he had to come back to the station eventually.  And when he did, she would be ready for him.

Escobar wondered why she was staring at the exit for so long, but he decided it was safer not to ask.  Actually, he realized that her distraction might be the ideal backdrop for his next question, which he was hoping could fly under the radar, at least for a while.  “Say, Officer Tang, do you happen to know if we still have any of the stuff impounded in the Neuberger case?”

Now of letters we have twenty-six
And of days many more in the mix
So then why should it be
That just one letter, D,
Names a day?–Namely this day, June Six

Event: The Allies begin the invasion of Axis-controlled France; D-day
Year: 1944
Learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D-Day
Nitpick the Wordsman’s claim: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C_day http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dagen_h

Renewing observation.  Must discover secret behind suspect’s remarkable ability to resist arrest.  Have consulted with lab technicians, local science teachers, and radio psychics, but they refuse to take me seriously.  The only solution is constant vigilance.  Everyone slips up eventually.  Even me.

Officer Tang had no choice but to admit that she had not merely “slipped up” but very nearly jeopardized the whole operation.  She had underestimated her opponent.  The woman’s disguise was good, she had to give her that; what officer wouldn’t think that arresting a fragile old woman would be no more than an afterthought?  And therein lay the beauty of it.  Officer Tang had spent so much time deciding why she would be arresting the suspect that she hadn’t been able to spare a moment to figure out how.  But she would not be making that mistake again.

Actually, Officer Tang was not supposed to be there, either.  After the judge had refused to dignify her suggestion to dispatch the National Guard—along with various other more ridiculous requests—with a response, the captain had called her aside and told her in no uncertain terms to take Saturday off.  But she had not taken a day off of anything (work, school, crossing guard duty) since Reagan was president.  The concept was entirely foreign to her, like the details of the Hawley-Smoot Tariff, or the words “inadmissible evidence.”  She was not about to start now.

Like Peter, Tang had spent a lot of time thinking since the previous day.  Unlike Peter, she had spent very little time sleeping.

11:13:42 AM: contact made.  Conspirator is tall, blond, mid-twenties, clean-shaven, hatless.  Offers suspect a bag containing some variety of baked good (cupcake?  cookie?  Is this relevant?).  In previous observations, have seen passersby give suspect advice, money, garbage, pamphlets, political campaign buttons, pieces of paper containing the words “Here, you throw this away.”  Cannot recall suspect ever before receiving food.  Need to consult past notes.  Is this evidence of a more significant connection?

She wished she could hear their conversation, but she was standing considerably farther back than she had on her previous investigations.  By showing herself to the suspect before she had adequately prepared to make the arrest, Officer Tang had tipped her hand.  This time around she would be playing things much closer to the vest, which in her case meant that she would probably be playing inside her vest.

Now, to be fair, Officer Tang had been very focused on the old woman on Friday, and for every day before that.  She had developed extreme tunnel vision, to the point where she could see only the suspect and those who came into direct contact with her—and even those she could only make out vaguely.  So it’s probably forgivable that it took her ten whole minutes to recognize Peter as the man who had gotten slapped the day before.

And then everything clicked.  She knew what she had to do.