This Day in History Entry #61

April 13th, 2010 by Wordsman

Fierce division the nation did haunt
So King Henry sought to bring detente
It had limited scope
And it pissed off the pope
But he issued the Edict of Nantes

Event: Henry IV issues the Edict of Nantes
Year: 1598
Learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edict_of_Nantes

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Brevity=Wit Entry #18

April 12th, 2010 by Wordsman

“You read the bible, Brett?”

“Y-yes.”

“Well there’s this passage I got memorized.  Sort of fits the occasion.  Ezekiel 25:17:

“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.  Blessed is he who, in the”

“Hey, Jules.”

“Now what the hell is it, Vincent?  I’m kind of in the middle of something important here.”

“Brett’s passed out, man.”

“Aw, hell no!”

Jules had originally memorized the passage not because he was impressed by its religious significance but because he thought it was some cold-blooded stuff to say to an individual before he put a bullet in him.  He had been saying that stuff for years, and now, apparently, it had lost its punch.  These days it seemed that your typical punk didn’t have the patience to listen to an entire bible verse on the wrath of God.

This would not stand.  Jules Winnfield was not about to have his concentration broken by some loser snoring through his monologues.  He was going to have to come up with an update quicker than you can say, “Wh-what?”

Mr. Winnfield and Mr. Vega stepped out of the apartment, had a smoke, discussed various affairs both pertinent and totally unrelated to the current situation, and then returned.  Jules tapped Brett on the cheek with his friend Mr. Nine Millimeter to ensure that he had his attention again, and then he spoke:

“The righteous man has it rough, but he’s on my side.  If you’re wicked, then I will smite you but good.  And that’s how you know I’m God.”

At this point Brett lost consciousness again, though this time in a decidedly more permanent fashion.

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The Jenoviad Entry #61

April 9th, 2010 by Wordsman

At the top stood Barret
Like an avatar of fury
“I’ll kill ev’ry last Shinra scum!
I’m judge, ex’cuti’ner, jury!”

“You okay?” Cloud asked the man
Face streaked with bod’ly dross
Barret grunted. “Can’t let up
That chopper holds the boss”

As he spoke, a man jumped down
To the cold steel platform
His hair was red, his suit was blue
His smile strangely warm

“I knew I would see you again
Too bad that it’s for work”
Barret growled, “Who are you?”
Cloud said, “Reno. A Turk”

“The pillar’s coming down,” he said
“Whether or not you care
As punishment for your group’s bombs
It’s really only fair

“Your intervention’s meaningless
Sector Seven is through
So, really, we don’t have to fight”
Growled Cloud: “Oh yes we do!”

“Have it your way,” Reno said
As he drew out his cane
“I just want it on the books:
You chose the way of pain”

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Movie Two-Liners Entry #60

April 7th, 2010 by Wordsman

This week’s puzzle:

A not-entirely-unpredictable catastrophe changes two men’s lives, though perhaps not as much as they might have hoped. An uncoordinated man and a woman with a medical condition travel to a precarious place, where she imparts to him some life-changing information.

Last week’s puzzle:

A man who is famous but not rich has spent his entire life surrounded by people who tell him what he can’t do. He is nearly killed while doing something he hasn’t attempted since he was a child, and afterward he decides that a normal life is probably best, after all.

And the answer is . . . ▼

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This Day in History Entry #60

April 6th, 2010 by Wordsman

Coubertin had some quite lofty aims
To revive old Prometheus’ flames
Fortune favored the bold
(Who won silver, not gold)
At the first modern Olympic Games

Event: Opening of the first modern Olympic Games in Athens, Greece
Year: 1896
Learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1896_Summer_Olympics

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There Is No New Post Today

April 5th, 2010 by Wordsman

I really do regret to say
That there is no new post today
A precise cause I cannot state
Though one can always speculate

Most like the weekend a role plays
I was away about three days
Returning home late Sunday night
To a world near devoid of light

And inspiration sometimes lacks
For us poor literary hacks
In vain we struggle, all for naught
To come up with one useful thought

I rose early on Easter morn
(A fact of which none did me warn)
A practice known to cause heads pain
And oft disorganize the brain

I could go on, let tongue wag loose
But really there is no excuse
No post today (it’s not just late)
And all one can do now is wait

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The Jenoviad Entry #60

April 2nd, 2010 by Wordsman

They came up through a manhole
But their path was by trains barred
Aeris looked around and said
“This feels like a graveyard”

“We’re in Sector Seven now”
Said Tifa, her voice dire
“Let’s hurry to the pillar, quick!
I think I hear gunfire!”

Tifa said, “Now, in my bar
There is a girl, Marlene . . .”
Aeris understood, for once
“I’ll get her off the scene”

The fighters reached the pillar’s base
Pushed through the gathered crowd
Made their way toward the staircase
The shots were now quite loud

First they found a dying Wedge
Who spoke in a voice hoarse
“Do you . . . remember . . . my name, Cloud?”
Cloud answered, “Bedge, of course”

The trip upstairs was solemn
They had lost Biggs, even Jess
There was no chance for last remarks
They’d no time to digress

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The Jenoviad Entry #????

April 1st, 2010 by Wordsman

“Huh?” said Zell.  “What’s going on?”
“Oh, what now?” muttered Squall
Quistis said, “I’ve no idea
What happened here at all”

“I don’t remember anything”
Said Terra, looking blue
Locke, sarcastic as always
Said, “Gee, that’s nothing new”

“Who are all these ruffians?”
Asked Steiner, ever flustered
“Ah, who cares?” said Amarant
His energy unmustered

Tidus asked, “Are you guys dead?”
“Oh, no.”  “No, we’re quite well”
“Sorry, but where I come from
It’s often hard to tell”

Selphie, Rikku, and Eiko
Did quickly disappear
Everyone else tried real hard
To not so loudly cheer

Cloud wandered into the room
“Uh, guys?  This is my show
The title’s The Jenoviad
In case you didn’t know”

“Oh, great.  Here comes Cloud again”
“This guy hogs all the glory”
“Pardon me,” said Auron, cool
“But this is our story”

“You can wait your turn,” said Cloud
“We’ve not yet hit the mid”
“We’ve not even shown up yet!”
Cried Yuffie, Vincent, Cid

“Seriously,” Tifa moaned
“How short will you us cut?
Aeris hasn’t even died”
Poor Aeris shouted, “WHAT?”

“That may be so,” said Zidane
“But we will wait no more”
Shadow said, “This sitting out
Has made us rather sore

“Fine,” said Barret.  “When I’m through
None of you’ll be upright”
“Oh,” said Irvine, “I don’t know
I-I don’t like to fight”

“Fools,” said Sephiroth, on high
“They really are the worst
None of them has realized
That today is April 1st”

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