Alex H. said to give it a go
But George Washington had to say no
“The Apportionment Act?
Constituti’nally cracked!
It’s about time I used this veto!”
Event: George Washington vetoes the Apportionment Act, the first use of a presidential veto in the United States
Year: 1792
Learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apportionment_Act
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I suppose I should have predicted that the only contestants who would chime in this time around would be the ones who understood the challenge in the first place. Oh well. That’ll teach me to give people second chances.
Dragon and A Fan were completely distracted by that overrated, permanently canonized, inescapable Tale of Genji and its author, who is in fact called Murasaki Shikibu (the “Shikibu” portion of her “name” is in fact a title associated with a rank held by her father). A Fan was banking on the hope that she was a prolific author with many pseudonyms, and maybe she was, but as far as I know only two major works by her have survived to the present day: the aforementioned Tale (which many scholars agree she didn’t even write all of, but that’s another story) and her diary (which does indicate that she was nicknamed Murasaki in real life, too, though this may again have been due to the Tale).
Dragon had more realistic aims, but she was still thwarted by the fact that none of these people is Murasaki Shikibu. And just in case there are any Marlovians or other crazy people out there who want to argue that maybe they could be, I will point out that none of the people on this list were alive even within two decades of Murasaki’s time. The closest was C, the court poet Ki no Tsurayuki, compiler of and writer of the famous preface to the Kokinshu, in which he states that poetry can move the heavens and the earth, touch the hearts of gods and demons, soothe relations between men and women, and calm the minds of fierce warriors. But apparently, according to Dragon, he was just twisted.
And now we get into the guesses that actually had a chance of being right. Theoman’s knowledge of Japanese tripped him up once again; spotting the symbol for “woman” as part of the last character in F, he assumed that this person was a woman. In fact, that kanji just means to like, favor, be positive, etc.
He then tried to make use of my unhelpful hints, but, surprisingly, they turned out to be unhelpful. B, the name containing the bird and the river (they’re the same! It’s the first character), is not the poetry compiler, as we already know; this is Kamo no Chomei, who left the city of Kyoto to go live in a hut for one of two reasons: if you believe his work, the Hojoki, it’s because the impermanence of life makes trying to maintain a home in the capital foolish. Or, if you’re more cynical, you can look at the fact that he left shortly after being denied the position of head priest at the Kamo Shrine (Kamo, meaning “wild duck,” is the first character of his name, and is also the name of the river along which the shrine is located).
Finally, he tried his hand at D, but it turned out to be Lady Nijo, the concubine he had been searching for all along (Hmm . . . that sounds a little sketchy). As Dragon has already pointed out, women of the court were often referred to by things that we would not ordinarily consider “names,” per se. One common practice was to refer to them by the location of their residence, hence Nijo, or “2nd Street.”
Shirley, who accused me of being a sadist, fell into the same trap with D, leading me to wonder whether I’m the sadist for creating these challenges or you are all masochists for accepting them. But after that her luck improved. She gets half credit for sort of identifying B as the monk in the hut. Her other option, E, was Matsuo Basho, who was named after a plant he had outside his hut, so I guess that’s worth something. He was the travelogue and haiku writer; the “Matsu” of his family name means pine tree, and the “Basho,” his pen name, he adopted after one of his disciples gave him a banana plant to put outside his residence. And her identification of F was spot on: this is indeed Yoshida Kenko, author of Tsurezuregusa, and provider of such helpful health tips as: “Don’t sniff fresh deer antlers. There are bugs inside them that will crawl up through your nose and eat your brain.” Her Hail Marys all fell short of the end zone, but she made up for it in overtime.
And no one was interested in A, Akashi Kakuichi (“kaku” meaning “write”), who produced the Tale of the Heike that most of us know and love today.
But that’s enough of torturing you with literature. It’s time to worry about more important things. That’s right: it’s baseball season again. Let’s set the scene of a typical inning. Actually, it’s not at all typical: bottom of the ninth, all tied up at zero, and the opposing pitcher is throwing a PERFECT GAME. The leadoff guy swings away, one, two, three: an unceremonious STRIKEOUT. Now, you haven’t been having a lot of luck with the bat lately, but the pressure’s clearly getting to the pitcher, and he’s losing his control, so you manage to finagle a WALK. He tries to keep a close eye on you at first, but he can’t keep up with your speed. You STEAL second. This totally rattles the pitcher, and the guy at bat pays the price: he’s HIT BY A PITCH. At this point the umpire comes out, reminds everyone to settle down, not cause any trouble. The pitcher slides back into his groove and gets the next guy to hit a slow roller to the second baseman. A tailor-made DOUBLE PLAY ball. But the shortstop botches the relay, and his ERROR prevents them from getting the last out. You’re safe at third. You’ve worked hard to get there. Only ninety more feet. Then, of course, the next guy makes the whole thing meaningless by jacking a HOME RUN.
Can you identify the key events of this inning?
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All he wanted was a simple life.
“I could sit here forever, just watching the foam on the river.”
“Don’t you think the rooftops look like a string of jewels spread across the city?”
But they had other plans . . .
“Honey, wake up. Do you hear that?”
“Sounds like . . . wind?”
They took everything from him.
“So many homes . . . so many people . . . all gone.”
“God only knows how many horses and cattle we lost.”
“They say it wiped out a third of the city!”
“How can a man be expected to stay sane in the midst of all this?”
Driven into exile . . .
“They threw me in a hut, ten-foot square . . .”
. . . one thought, one hope, one truth kept him going:
The knowledge that nothing lasts forever.
“I don’t know where people come from when they’re born,
And I don’t know where they go when they die.
But I do know this: you’re just like the morning dew:
You’re not gonna make it ‘til nightfall.”
This summer, Jason Statham is Kamo no Chōmei in . . .
Because the only constant in this world . . . is Revenge!
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Tensions ‘tween Yorks and Lancasters taut
On Palm Sunday, a battle was fought
Though Ed’s forces were few
A propitious wind blew
Henry Beaufort’s defense: all for naught
Event: Battle of Towton results in Edward IV replacing Henry VI as King of England
Year: 1461
Learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Towton
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wars_of_the_Roses
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Not only did we have a late entry this week, there were also some contestants who seem to have not quite understood the challenge, which suggests that I did not explain it well enough. So I’m going to give you folks a second chance at this second chance. First, let’s review:
These are the six works from two weeks ago. They are: A. Oku no hosomichi, the poetic travel log, B. Kokinshu, the imperial poetry anthology, C. Tsurezuregusa, the collection of random ramblings, D. Towazugatari, the autobiographical tale of the imperial concubine, E. Heike monogatari, the war epic, and F. Hojoki, the story of a man and his hut.
These, then, are the six authors of the six works listed at the top. My intent was for this to be a matching game, not for people to attempt to pull names of classical Japanese authors out of their hats. In the case of Heike monogatari, of which more than 100 versions are known to exist, I have listed the person associated with the most well-known version. In the case of Kokinshu–which, being a poetry collection, has many authors–I have listed the most famous of the compilers.
And just to mix things up, I will provide some hints which may not be at all helpful.
A. This name contains a character that is a homophone for the Japanese verb meaning “write.”
B. This name contains a kind of bird and the name of a river.
C. This name starts and ends with the same syllable.
D. This name can be found on a map.
E. This name contains two different kinds of plants.
F. The second half of this author’s name is a homophone for “health,” “high spirits,” and “balance.”
So go ahead and guess again, if you’re not sick of this stuff by now. Those who correctly interpreted the puzzle the first time may feel free to make additional guesses. All answers will be judged next week.
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Perhaps afraid that her brother might seize this opening to take the conversation off on a pointless philosophical tangent about the all-encompassing nature of the “mind,” she made a tiny concession. “But we’ll worry about that in a bit. Before we can work on how you say it, we need to take care of what you say. Do you really think you’re here to read my musical résumé?”
Peter had very little idea why he was there at all, but admitting so would be showing a sign of weakness, so he fell back on the oldest weapon in the sibling warfare arsenal. “I just read what Mom wrote.”
The girl was well on her way to becoming a great filmmaker, for it was clear she thought no better of screenwriters than she did of actors. “There’s your problem. Mom’s just playing the proud parent. They don’t need to know that I won that award, or this trophy, or that I’ve been first chair since I was a freshman. The music has to speak for itself.”
“So let it.” Peter was new to the biz as well, but he still knew the first truth of the actor: always pretend you have something more important to do. “Just say your name and start playing. You don’t need me.”
“Okay, so it’s not just about the music.” Then, because letting the talent think that they may have been right about something is often fatal, she added, “And thanks for reminding me that you got my name wrong. This is for a jazz combo, not an orchestra. I need to show them that I have character. Give the genius talent a human side.”
Peter looked at his watch. His interview wasn’t for a little while, but he didn’t want to have to dash over there because he had wasted time on this introduction. He needed time to settle into the interview mood. Ironically, it is this process of “getting in the mood” that causes many people to blow the interview, but Peter, like most people, did not know this. “And Mom can’t do this because . . .?”
“You’ve already proven that Mom can’t do it by reading her script. If I do it, it sounds unnatural, and if I get a friend, I’m trying too hard to seem cool. Older brother is just about right. A cousin might be better, but you’ve got to work with the tools you’re given.”
“This is the only tool I was given,” Peter said, raising the “script” unenergetically into the air. He wondered if three barely legible sentences written on the back of a used envelope could really be called a script.
The director considered this. She had not had time to vet the script; it had taken her most of the morning just to figure out how to get the camera to turn on. As they say in the movie biz, and various other businesses, “You can’t get blood from a stone.” You can, however, get blood with a stone, which is why the director must be prepared to play the role of peacemaker, especially when filming scenes on rocky seashores.
“Tell you what. I’ll provide a sample, and then you can copy it. But first you’ve got to do something for me.”
“And that is?” Peter was the kind of guy who actually read the Terms and Conditions that popped up on his computer screen before clicking “I Agree.”
“Lose the suit.”
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You could not call his style withdrawn
And it does endless parodies spawn
Yes, the man’s greatest work
Was a Captain named Kirk
And his most famous line one word: “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”
Event: Birth of actor William Shatner
Year: 1931
Learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_T_Kirk
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Dragon demonstrated terrific perception this week by picking up on the fact that the hut in Hojoki can be disassembled. This was one of the key points made by the author, who preferred, in this impermanent world, to have a dwelling that he could relocate at will rather than being tied down to a house, which is nothing but a hassle. Unfortunately, kanji cannot be so conveniently taken apart and rearranged. The Hojoki (literally “Ten-Square-Foot Chronicle,” referring to the dimensions of the hut) is F. It also may have been a poor decision to ignore the last character in B, because it means “collection,” which might have pointed her to the Kokinshu, the first imperial poetry anthology.
A Fan gave an impressive display of erudition, referencing many works I have never read and at least one I have never heard of. He even made a joke . . . I think. So let’s see how many matched up. A: no, B: no, C: no, D: no, E: no, F: also no. And thus we see why the field of comparative literature is a tricky proposition. Hmm . . . maybe my theory that knowledge of the concept of literature in general will help is not supported by the results. Shirley certainly seemed to think so, but she decided to take her usual shots regardless. Sadly, her familiar Japanese author is Endo Shusaku, who wrote in the 20th century, and these works are all from the pre-modern era, so he can’t help her out much here. Her investigations were mainly in the realm of poetry, though her decision at the last minute to label the Heike Monogatari, the epic war tale, as non-poetry is an interesting one. You probably can’t really call it poetry, but, like the works of Homer referenced by A Fan, it derives from a recited, performed tradition rather than a strictly textual one (at least, the version we are most familiar with today does). It is found not at C but at E. C is Tsurezuregusa, part of a genre known as zuihitsu, literally “following the brush,” referring to just writing whatever comes to mind. In addition to opinions on style, our friend the monk chooses to share with us his feelings on romance (they’re not very consistent), and even medical tips.
As for the other two, A is the Narrow Road of the Far North, in which a haiku master travels through northeastern Japan to visit famous historical places (and also to do a fair amount of self-aggrandizing, but he doesn’t write about that much in the book). D is Towazugatari, literally “the tale that no asked asked about,” which tells of the difficulties of being a woman in the imperial court.
And one last comforting note for Shirley: this time around, knowledge of Japanese didn’t help either. The first character in E, which looks like a character that means “half,” in fact means “flat,” though in this case, as it’s part of a family name, the meaning was unlikely to help much.
This is the first time in a while that no one was able to get a correct answer, so I feel it’s only fair to give you guys another shot at these. For Round 2, see if you can identify the authors of these six works. In the case of the poetry anthology, I’ve listed the most famous of the compilers, and for the epic, I’ve listed the man associated with the most famous version (over 100 are known to exist).
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A new character appeared on screen, her back facing the lens. From that angle all that could be seen was a tremendous mass of curly red hair, hair so extensive it had not only its own personality but its own culture as well. It resisted attempts to tame it like a cat resists being put in bath water. It had been so long since this hair had felt the touch of scissors that it had forgotten what they were.
Other than that, this low-budget film’s leading lady was much shorter than her co-star, and while her clothes were more casual, her attitude was not.
She unsympathetically examined her brother. Peter stared defiantly back. You could see that already the healthy bond of mistrust that characterizes any great actor-director relationship was forming. If the girl had been a more experienced director, she might have known that she would get much more natural speech out of the talent in this pose than when she stood him up like a condemned man in front of a firing squad. Sadly, though the camera had been left on, it was out of negligence rather than as a cleverly candid approach to filming.
“First issue: wardrobe. Who told you to wear a suit?”
As a man who hoped one day to be the one doing the asking, he took pride in his ability to hold his own under harsh questioning. “A man doesn’t need to be told to wear a suit.”
“Translation: Mom said you should put it on.”
Peter skillfully dodged the question a second time. “I have my interview this afternoon. That’s why I’m wearing it. Besides, suits look cool.”
Though she was facing away from the camera, you could still somehow feel the director roll her eyes. “Suits look cool on some people, in some situations. For example, they never look cool when the person wearing them is the son of the person they originally belonged to. And since, unlike you, I’m not applying to be a bank manager—”
“I’d correct you, but . . . why?”
“—we’re going to go for a different look. Lose the tie, lose the jacket.” Peter did not make the demanded adjustments, though his facial expression left open the possibility that they would be carried out later. “Unfortunately, the biggest problem isn’t how you look; it’s how you sound.”
“You do realize that people train for years in order to be able to sound normal on film, right?”
“Hmm. If only there were someone in this house who had been practicing to be a public speaker since he was in elementary school. Oh wait it’s you.”
“This is different.”
The girl shook her head, a dangerous maneuver. The camera, fearsome though it was, narrowly avoided being struck down to the ground. “Only different in your mind.” The young director had already learned the first truth of her profession: actors know nothing.
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Nick the Second, when he had to flee
Did the man think to blame history?
Did his thoughts go back far
To the very first “czar”
Who on that day went down tragically?
Events: Nicholas II abdicates the Russian throne; Julius Caesar killed
Years: 1917; 44 BC
Learn more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February_Revolution
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julius_Caesar_%28play%29
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