The Jenoviad Entry #5

March 13th, 2009 by Wordsman

The scorpion shook, the men had won
They danced, they cried “Woo hoo!”
And then they saw ten minutes left
Until the whole place blew

They raced back up the ladders
While the seconds ticked away
And as they were about to leave
A plaintive voice said, “Stay”

Cloud turned around, and then he saw
‘Twas Jessie; she was stuck
He grumbled as he ran back
And he said, “Of all the luck . . .”

With Jessie free the band took off
It was down to the wire
They got out in the nick of time
Sky filled with mushroom fire

“Good job,” conceded Barret
His broad face filled with elation
“Now split up!  Don’t let none suspect
And meet back at the station”

Cloud tried in vain to stop them
All he wanted was his pay
Then he reluctantly went toward
The nearest alleyway

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Movie Two-Liners Entry #5

March 11th, 2009 by Wordsman

This week’s puzzle:

A hero proves that he can outfight or outthink any opponent and then is captured by a man with a physical deformity.  Meanwhile, a beautiful young woman tries to convince a man plotting to kill her that she cannot love him.

Last week’s puzzle:

When a plant lover and a movie aficionado first meet, it seems like they have almost nothing in common.  Their relationship is strengthened as they spend time dealing with words, birds (okay, a bird), cars, bars, the local shop, a deadly drop, and the movie buff’s crazy pop.

And the answer is . . . ▼

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This Day in History Entry #4

March 10th, 2009 by Wordsman

Having lost at Drepana before
At Aegusa Rome settled the score
Catulus stripped his fleet
Great Hanno met defeat
And thus ended the First Punic War

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Is a Picture Worth a Thousand Words? Entry #5

March 9th, 2009 by Wordsman

pwtw-5

The rain was coming down in sheets, and the wind was almost blowing fiercely enough to knock people down.  The newspaper had said that the typhoon would go around the city, but to Abigail it felt like it was coming straight through.  She was already soaked and wanted to get back to the hotel as quickly as possible.  This was why she was not at all surprised when, less than a minute after leaving the cover of the subway station, her brother came to a complete halt in the middle of the sidewalk.  “I can’t get past this,” he said.

“What?” she shouted back.  Unlike usual, her request for clarification was not because she had not understood him but because the rain was so loud she had not heard his words.

“I can’t get past it!” he shouted back, indicating the bizarre system of curved metal railings in front of him.

“Sure you can!  Just walk around it!  That’s what I did!”  At least, that’s what she thought she had done.  She had been in such a hurry that she had not even noticed the contraption when she passed and was halfway out into the street before Theo spoke.  Abigail quickly ran back to the curb while the light was still green, stepping in an ankle-deep puddle and splashing water all the way up to her face.

Theodore looked at her with scorn.  “I don’t mean physically,” he said, lowering his voice to a mere half-shout now that she was standing next to him.  “I can’t get over its existence.  What is this device?  What is its purpose?  What does it do?”

“I don’t suppose we could discuss this later,” Abigail grumbled.

“I cannot proceed until I know,” he said, shaking his head.

She sighed and turned her head skyward, forgetting that it was still pelting rain.  Wiping the water off her face, she resignedly asked, “Well, what does it look like it does?”

He stepped past her and seized the railing tightly with both hands.  “Visual appearance is not the only important feature,” he said.  “The feel, the smell, and the sound can all be key factors as well,” he added, giving it a solid kick to listen to the dull, metallic ring.  For a moment Abigail was worried that he would lick it, too, to examine the taste, but fortunately he managed to restrain himself.

“It seems to be intended to manage the traffic on the sidewalk in some way,” he said after a thorough (thoroughly drenching, from Abigail’s point of view) examination.  “Not to stop it, as one can still get through the curved path, like so,” he clarified, drawing a backwards S with his finger, “but to slow it down before it reaches the intersection.”

“Maybe it’s there to force bicycles to slow down,” Abigail suggested.  She didn’t really care one bit about the device’s purpose, but she knew that she would never get Theo away from there unless she at least tried to take the matter seriously.  “They probably don’t want them racing out into the middle of the street.”

“Impossible,” Theodore said, shaking his head vigorously.  His sister would have been annoyed about the hundreds of water droplets this sent flying in her direction if there hadn’t already been billions of water droplets falling from the sky.  “No bicycle could manage such a sharp curve over such a short distance.  It’s physically impossible.”

“I don’t know,” she replied.  “Have you seen some of the bikers around here?”  Abigail could have sworn she saw one the other day negotiating an alleyway that was about half the size of a residential street back home, cutting between one parked car and one moving car.  And the person had been holding a TV at the time.

Theodore measured the width of the entryway with his hands.  “No,” he insisted.  “This is definitely for pedestrian use.”

This explanation made no sense to Abigail.  What was the point of building a device like this to slow down pedestrians?  Was the city really concerned that people would be walking along the sidewalk so quickly that they would forget to stop themselves before they stumbled out into the street?  “Are you sure?” she asked.  “Maybe it was supposed to be for bicycles but they built it wrong.”

“But look!” he cried, pointing across the street.  “There’s another one exactly like it over there!  Are you suggesting they made the exact same mistake twice?”

“It could have been a mistake in the blueprints or something,” Abigail muttered.

“We may be thinking about this in entirely the wrong way,” Theodore said.  “We’ve been assuming that this device was placed here to be helpful, but what if it’s not?  What if it’s simply here to prove a point?”

“And that point is: ‘We have a bunch of extra C-shaped bars and we don’t know what to do with them?’” Abigail suggested sarcastically.

“The point is control,” he explained.  “If they can make people walk through this, even though there’s no benefit or reason for it whatsoever, then they prove how obedient the people are.  It’s like herding sheep, or making animals jump through hoops.  Supreme control,” he finished, glancing back at the shiny metal contraption.  “Unless . . .”

“No,” Abigail snapped.  “No ‘unless.’”  She had reached the point where she was not sure she would ever be dry again.  “Sometimes you just have to accept that you don’t understand why things are what they are.  I’m soaked to the bone, and I honestly wouldn’t care if this stupid thing was part of some government plot to brainwash the entire world.  We’re leaving.”

Theodore nodded glumly and followed her around the mysterious curves of the metal apparatus.  As they crossed the street he looked back.  A pedestrian walked up and began to twist through the enclosure.  “No!  Fight the power!” Theodore shouted, so excitedly that his sister had to grab his arm to keep him from tripping over the identical device on the opposite side.

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The Jenoviad Entry #4

March 6th, 2009 by Wordsman

“Set the bomb!” said Barret
“AVALANCHE will soon rejoice!”
And Cloud ignored the warning
Of a mysterious voice

The sirens blared, the red lights flashed
Guards, the ex-SOLDIER thought
He ne’er would have expected
A huge scorpion robot

“The hell is that?” cried Barret
As he readied his arm gun
“The boss,” said Cloud, his eyes a-roll
“You thought that we were done?”

Rapidly, the scorpion struck
With rifle and with tail
Cloud swung sword and Barret hit
With bullets, quite a hail

Suddenly the tail went up
And Cloud told Barret “Wait
If you shoot at it right now
You’ll surely seal our fate”

But Barret still did not trust Cloud
“I been in fights befo’”
And after they got blasted
Cloud just said, “I told you so”

The two bombers rose up again
They’d e’er refuse to waver
Said Barret, “I’m the Big Shot here”
But Cloud, he proved the Braver

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Movie Two-Liners Entry #4

March 4th, 2009 by Wordsman

This week’s puzzle:

When a plant lover and a movie aficionado first meet, it seems like they have almost nothing in common.  Their relationship is strengthened as they spend time dealing with words, birds (okay, a bird), cars, bars, the local shop, a deadly drop, and the movie buff’s crazy pop.

Last week’s puzzle:

Two friends interrupt a discussion of international cuisine and the difficulties of platonic heterosexual relationships to talk a little religion.  Then they change clothes, wash their car, eat breakfast, and shortly afterward part ways forever.

And the answer is . . . ▼

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This Day in History Entry #3

March 3rd, 2009 by Wordsman

Though its lyrics have often been mangled
As with Key’s poetry we have tangled
Let us all give three cheers
To seventy-eight years
Of our anthem: The Banner, Star-Spangled

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Is a Picture Worth a Thousand Words? Entry #4

March 2nd, 2009 by Wordsman

pwtw-4

“It’s a summoning circle!”

As usual, Abigail had so many questions that she did not know where to start, so she went with her traditional, “What?”

“Right here!” Theodore shouted, pointing to a design on the ground.  “It must be a summoning circle!”

Abigail looked down at her feet to humor her brother.  She saw an ornamental geometric design in the stone just outside the entrance to the temple.  She did not see a summoning circle, though to be fair she had no idea what one was supposed to look like.  “What’s a summoning circle?” she asked.

Theodore groaned.  He had trouble understanding how his own sister could fail to be familiar with such a basic concept.  “It’s a runic diagram,” he explained, “used to aid in the summoning of a spirit, demon, monster, or other powerful entity.”

“They don’t look like runes,” she said, glancing casually back down at the pattern.

“They don’t have to be runes,” he responded, exasperated.  “Geometric designs can be just as effective, depending on the situation.”

“Huh,” said Abigail.  She squatted down to look more closely at the carvings in the stone.  They did not appear especially magical to her.  “So how does it work?” she asked.  She knew that she shouldn’t encourage him, but she was bored, and she did not see how he could really cause any trouble.  Unlike most of the places they had visited, this particular temple complex was all but deserted.

“Well, the summoner—or summoners, as the case may be—stands at the edge of the circle and focuses all of his energy toward the center.”  He began to pace slowly around the circumference, pausing occasionally to study the pattern.

“And then you all join hands and sing a song, right?” she asked, but by that point Theo was too absorbed to hear her.  Abigail started to walk as well, not around the circle but away from it.  She looked up toward the top of the mountain and then out at the grayish-green shapes that formed the rest of the range.  The temple’s remote location was, she assumed, the main reason it had not become a tourist trap like everything else, but she savored the remoteness.  It was nice to be able to enjoy some peace and quiet for a change.

Of course, peace and quiet are two things that tend to disappear the moment you realize they’re there.

“. . . but we really won’t be able to find out anything for sure until we try it,” she heard her brother say.

Abigail turned away from the breathtaking mountain scenery to see that Theo was sprawled out on his back in the middle of the circle.  His hands and feet almost reached the edges.  “So you’re sure this thing is a . . . summoning circle?” she asked.  She did not bother trying to prevent him from trying whatever it was he intended to try.  What could happen?

“It has to be!” he declared, picking himself up and standing back outside the circle’s rim.  “We’re right outside the entrance to an ancient, abandoned temple!  How could it be anything else?”

“I think it’s more unpopular than actually abandoned.”  She did not know whether the temple was ancient or not, because she had forgotten to check.  Some of them were, some of them weren’t, and some of them said they were even though they had burned down and been completely rebuilt several times over the centuries.  “So what are we supposed to do?” she asked.  Sure, scenery and solitude were nice, but in actuality she was really, really bored.

“You stand there,” he instructed, indicating a spot on the circle opposite from him.  “Now we need to chant something.”

“Like what?”

“Hmm . . . what’s the name of this temple?”

“I forgot to check before we left,” Abigail admitted, a little bit embarrassed at her carelessness.  Checking in the temple itself was impossible, as both of them were still unable to read any signs.

“Then . . . do you know any Latin?” he suggested.

“I know fake Latin.”

“Hmm.”  Theodore stared down at the circle again.  “Actually, I think we may need another person for this,” he said after a few moments’ further study.  “The predominance of triangles in the design suggests to me that the circle was intended for use by three summoners.”

“I guess you’re out of luck, then, because I haven’t seen anyone else on this mountain besides us since . . . oh come on!” Abigail grumbled angrily as she saw a lone figure walking up the path toward them.

Theodore’s face brightened and he quickly dashed over to talk to the woman before his sister could stop him.  “Excuse me, ma’am,” he said politely.  “I was wondering if you could help us with an experiment.”

Abigail’s faint hope that the tourist would be unable to understand him disappeared when the woman answered, “What sort of experiment?” in a typical English accent.

“Well, you see, we’re trying to figure out if that summoning circle over there still works, or if its powers have faded over the centuries along with the temple.”

Abigail groaned and rolled her eyes.  The woman leaned to the side to look at the pattern, and then she turned back to Theodore.  “It works,” she declared matter-of-factly.

“How do you know?” Theodore asked curiously.

“You’ve summoned me, haven’t you?” the woman explained.  Then, without another word, she proceeded into the temple.

A silence settled over the forest clearing.  About a minute later it was broken by Theodore.  “Of course!  The three points of the triangle don’t represent three summoners, they represent two summoners and one summonee!  Why didn’t I think of that?”

As her brother squatted down to stare at the circle, Abigail walked back to where she had been observing the mountain range.  The mountains, at least, had stayed where they were supposed to be, rather than appearing and disappearing to follow the whims of a crazy person.

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