February 19th, 2010 by Wordsman
Down the steps, a creepy room
With a . . . torture device?
Looking ‘round for clues and such
Was one girl, dressed real nice
“Are you Tifa?” Aeris asked
Without even a “Yo”
She introduced herself: “Aeris
And this is my friend . . . Jo”
“Yes, I’m Tifa,” she replied
In a suspicious tone
“But what are you two doing here?
I thought I’d be alone”
“We might ask the same of you!”
Said “Jo” in a falsetto
He brought it on with a sharp kick
From his high-heel stiletto
Tifa laughed. “Cloud, drop the act
It’s real clear who you are
Dresses, makeup, even wigs
Can only go so far”
She said, “I’m here for Corneo”
As Cloud stood there in shock
“It seems he knows of Shinra’s plans
I came to make him talk
“And Cloud, I’ve something here for you”
It was a swift elbow
“What . . . was that for?” grunted Cloud
“For making me fret so”
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February 12th, 2010 by Wordsman
Aeris held a brazen thong
“But, hmm, will you fit in it?”
Cloud woke as if from a deep trance
“Now wait one goddamned minute!
“The dress and wig, I understand
For the disguise, I’ll bear
But I do not see any point
In sexy underwear!
“None would even see it!
Oh, and if they did, I’d run”
“Fine,” said Aeris grumpily
“I was just having fun”
All dressed up, the two, uh, “girls”
Went off to see the Don
Cloud was having quite a time
Walking with high heels on
“Yo, nice rack,” declared the guard
“Wait here. I’ll get da boss”
Aeris said, “It’s going great!”
For words Cloud was at loss
“We’re in! We’re in!” Aeris proclaimed
“Am I real smart, or what?”
“Quiet!” said Cloud. “We’ll get caught
Your mouth you now should shut
“Look for Tifa,” ordered Cloud
“She must be racked with fear”
Aeris found a staircase
“Hmm. Maybe she’s down here”
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February 5th, 2010 by Wordsman
“What’s up?” said the gym’s manager
A great muscle-bound brute
“Hi,” said Aeris. “This is Cloud
We need to make him cute”
The big man laughed. “You want my wig?
Well, you’re just one of lots
So: thirty seconds, the wig goes
To him with the most squats”
“Is there some other way?” asked Cloud
As she pushed him toward mat
“I have . . . another wig,” said Bro
“But nobody wants . . . that”
Despite fatigue, Cloud gave his all
Did squats nigh to infinity
Desp’rate he was for any way
To prove his masculinity
“Take it,” said the sweaty Bro
Dropping down on the bench
“But no one’s gonna think you’re cute
‘Til you clean up your stench”
The dress-up game went on and on
Perfume, circlet, makeup
Finally, Cloud reached a point
Where he could not say, “Yup”
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January 29th, 2010 by Wordsman
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he said with haste
“I’m Cloud: all that is man”
“I know,” said Aeris, giggling
“But what’s a better plan?”
Cloud, half-stunned, did not protest
As she dragged him about
First there was the dress shop
Said the maker: “We’re sold out
“You see, I need a challenge
Something new,” he said with sigh
Aeris grinned. “That’s perfect!
For you see, it’s for this guy”
The old man grinned most creepily
“You . . . swing that way . . . down south?
I’ll make you something silky soft”
Cloud threw up in his mouth
“Just a dress won’t be enough
You’ll also need a wig
I have a friend who . . . swings like you
They call him Bro the Big
“He’s o’er in the gymnasium
It, uh, smells kinda gross”
She said, “We’ll be back for the dress”
Cloud was near-comatose
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January 22nd, 2010 by Wordsman
“Tifa?” Cloud asked puzzledly
As cart from playground tore
“That’s Wall Market,” Aeris said
“Could your friend be a whore?”
Cloud saw lights flashing, smelled the booze
Heard invites to come in
He had entered Midgar’s
Glowing capital of sin
“Tifa went up this way”
He said, following the cart
Wondering what was the scene
In which she would play part
At road’s end, a mansion house
Decked out in Far East style
In the front, a surly guard
Whose heart was full of bile
“Dis place belongs to Corneo
So scram; he don’t like guys”
Cloud wanted to beat him up
But Aeris said, “Disguise”
“What’s the big idea?” asked Cloud
Trying rage to suppress
“Simple,” she said. “All we need’s
To get you in a dress”
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January 15th, 2010 by Wordsman
“Where could you be going now?”
The naïve girl inquired
“How come you got up so soon?
Are you not really tired?”
“Oh, uh, nowhere,” Cloud replied
“Just felt like a late walk”
“Since we’re both up,” Aeris said
“You wanna sit and talk?”
They went into a sad playground
Whose atmosphere was dank
Aeris sat down on the slide
“What was your SOLDIER rank?”
Cloud could not remember
How could this have come to pass?
Suddenly, his mem’ry flashed
“Of course I was First Class”
“Just like he was,” Aeris mulled
Cloud sensed some competition
‘Fore he could speak, he was stunned
By a strange apparition
A gaudy cart passed by, decked out
With tassel and with bell
Frowning in the back there was
A girl he knew quite well
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January 8th, 2010 by Wordsman
But Aeris’ mom put her foot down
“No one goes anywhere!”
“But Mom . . .” “No buts, young lady!
You’ll sleep on it, or I swear . . .”
Cloud could not find sleep that night
His mind just had to rove
Met the Prez, chased by the Turks
And Aeris, one room ove’ . . .
“What’s with you?” asked the myst’ry voice
“Does this room not suffice?
I mean, not since we were a kid
Has our room been this nice”
So Cloud thought of his childhood
‘Twas much like any other
Until he heard the nagging of
His domineering mother
Cloud sat up, said, “I’ve got to go”
Like he’d seen the abyss
“Sep’rate bedrooms, met the mom
Can’t get tied down like this!”
“You’re running from a pretty girl?”
The voice asked, nonchalant
“Course,” Cloud answered, frantically
“It’s just what she would want”
Down the stairs and out the door
Cloud tiptoed through night air
Got to Sector Six, and heard:
“Are you going somewhere?”
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January 1st, 2010 by Wordsman
Down from rooftops, through the slums
Which stank of grime and sweat
They passed hovel after hovel
Cloud asked, “Are we there yet?”
Finally they reached a house
With garden, waterfall
“Can this be the slums?” he asked
The place did him enthrall
The girl deigned not to answer
She just went inside, quite calm
“Hello!” she said, and then: “I’m home!
How are you doing, Mom?”
“This is Cloud,” she introduced
“He’s been my bodyguard”
“WHAT? Now, if I had my way
You’d never leave the yard”
“Oh, Mom!” she said, and then to Cloud:
“She likes to get this way
So! What do you want to do?
I have no plans today”
Cloud could think of one good thing
But her mom was nearby
“Maybe I should see Tifa
She was worried I’d die”
Aeris looked suspicious
But then she just said, “Okay”
“It is in Sector Seven”
“Oh yeah, sure, I know the way”
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December 25th, 2009 by Wordsman
The pair lay there, upon the roof
Recov’ring from distress
“So, why were those guys after you?”
“Just ‘cuz I’m cute, I guess?”
“No, really,” Cloud said, sitting up
“You have misunderstood
The Turks recruit for SOLDIER”
“Well, maybe I’d be good
“Can we not talk about this now?”
She said as she stood up
“I’d really like to just get home
It’s almost time to sup”
The two dashed off, from roof to roof
‘Til Aeris cried out, “Wait!”
Cloud smirked. “You can’t be in SOLDIER
With that slow of a gait”
“How would you know?” Aeris asked
“Were you in SOLDIER? Huh?”
“Well yeah,” said Cloud. “Where do you think
This giant sword’s from? Duh.”
“Oh yeah,” she said, watching his face
“You’ve got those Mako eyes”
“How do you know about that?”
He asked in great surprise
Aeris became flustered
“Oh, uh . . . that was just a hunch
Now come on, Reno’s chasing us
We’re in a real time crunch!”
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December 18th, 2009 by Wordsman
The two in flight entered the back
Which was falling apart
“Where do we go from here?” asked Cloud
Said Aeris: “Oh. That part”
“How about that hole?” asked Cloud
Pointing up toward the sky
“Way up there?” asked Aeris
“But, remember, you can’t fly . . .”
Cloud hurried Aeris up the stairs
Approached the second “floor”
But just then Reno and his goons
Burst through the open door
“Duck!” yelled Cloud, who hit the deck
O’er his head shots did sail
Aeris, most unhappily
Put her faith in the rail
Two goons went down after her
“Quick! Catch that Ancient’s spawn!”
Cloud looked around frantically
And a lightbulb clicked on
The goons closed in on the poor girl
“I have you now,” one said
But suddenly he lost his cool;
A barrel hit his head
The men KO’ed, Aeris was free
To back to her friend climb
They jumped out, and Reno said
“There is always next time”
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