September 17th, 2010 by Wordsman
After battle: “What’s your name?
Can’t call you ‘Cat,’” Cloud said
“My tattoo just says, ‘Thirteen’
But you may call me Red”
Barret said, “Let’s blow this joint!
With Shinra we are through”
Tifa said, “Let’s take the stairs”
“Nah. Elevator’ll do”
Tifa muttered all the way
To the el’vator shaft
Their attention was to fore
But she kept glancing aft
Inside, Cloud said, “We’re home free!”
And Aeris added, “Yup!”
A voice said, “You’re not going down
Looks like the jig is . . . up”
The five of them were rounded up
And brought before the Prez
The Prez said all the normal things
That any villain says
Soon they found themselves in cells
A-pondering their fate
Cloud was wond’ring when it was
The last time that he ate
Barret tried to recruit Red
Red did not make a peep
Aeris heard the Planet speak
Cloud just went straight to sleep
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September 10th, 2010 by Wordsman
A furry comet shot from cage
Clamped onto Hojo’s face
Aeris thanked Cloud and gave him
A gentler embrace
“They tried to make me mate
With some . . . . exper’ment off some . . . shelf!”
The cat paused in his flailings
“Miss, you’re no looker yourself”
Aeris stammered, “Y-you can talk?”
“It’s really not that hard
But right now you should worry more
‘Bout Hojo’s final guard”
Hojo managed to break free
His face was scratched up bad
“Ha! This is what you all get
For driving science mad!”
Up into the empty cell
Rose a creature of dread
Barret grumbled, “Why these things
Always got no damn head?”
Fortunately, this monster
Had bark worse than its bite
Sure, the thing looked really gross
But they beat it alright
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September 3rd, 2010 by Wordsman
One last elevator ride
And they had reached their goal
Aeris was trapped in a cell
But, for the moment, whole
Barret charged in, gun raised high
The scientists were shocked
Said Tifa, “This is too easy!
The doors aren’t even locked!
“Did you all fail to notice
The intrusion on Floor One?
There’s no alarm, not many guards
This rescue’s almost done!”
“Tifa, shut up for a sec”
Cloud did approach the glass
Barret said to Hojo
“Open up. Don’t want no sass”
“Will you kill me?” Hojo laughed
“An idea not so bright
You don’t know how to work this thing
You’ll be stuck here all night
“Now, if you’ll excuse me . . .”
In the cell he put the cat
Barret filled the glass with holes
“I . . . didn’t think of that”
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August 27th, 2010 by Wordsman
Wiping off their soggy feet
The group up one floor went
Here they found a storage room
In bad need of a vent
Hojo stood by a glass case
A-talking to a . . . cat, er . . .
As if they needed any proof
He was mad as a hatter
“Hey Cloud, get a load of this!”
They near with laughter died
Cloud, however, did not look
He was preoccupied
Cloud, in classic freak-out mode
Was writhing on the ground
He’d seen something in a case
That struck him most profound
“JE-NO-VA? The hell is that?”
Barret the nameplate read
“What kind of specimen is this?
This thing ain’t got no head!”
Tifa knelt down next to Cloud
“Are you alright?” she asked
“It was nothing,” Cloud told her
His feelings were well masked
Barret grumbled, “Just get up”
Lifted Cloud bodily
“Did you forget about that girl
We came here to set free?”
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August 20th, 2010 by Wordsman
They started talking numbers
Seven would not be rebuilt
Instead, a Neo-Midgar’d rise
Its streets with Mako gilt
“But how can that be possible?”
Said Reeve, caught unaware
Said Prez: “We find the Promised Land
The girl will take us there
“How’s she doing, Hojo?”
Here the man in white did stir
“She’s a fine Ancient specimen
Though her mother I’d prefer”
“And how long ‘til the Promised Land?”
The room was now all ears
“This research will take quite some time
Oh . . . o’er a hundred years”
The Prez: “You must be joking!”
He did not the message heed
Hojo muttered, “It’s no joke
That’s why I plan to breed”
Cloud was filled with outrage
To stop Hojo he’d not wait
Aeris would with no one breed
Until he got his date
Soon the meeting did adjourn
And the three back did sneak
Landed in the john again
“I’m show’ring for a week!”
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August 13th, 2010 by Wordsman
“We gotta hear that meeting!”
Barret said in a harsh hiss
“Meeting?” said Cloud. “Boredom time
Let’s just give it a miss”
“But they might say where Aeris is!”
Tifa did quick implore
“Or mention any other
Evil plots they’ve got in store”
Just then, two guys pass’ed by
“Man, that big room does stink”
“I wonder, if ‘tween there and bath
There is some sort of link”
The three snuck to the toilet
Stepped in (“Gross!”), entered a duct
To a bright light their attention
Was immediately sucked
Round a table, bigwigs sat
The Prez was at the head
Still wearing his fav’rite coat
In out-of-fashion red
There was Palmer, the chief space guy
Reeve, head of the building biz
Then Heidegger, the Safety man
And Scarlet, weapons whiz
And one more man in a white coat
Who hung back from the show
Cloud did not know how he knew
The man’s name was Hojo
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August 6th, 2010 by Wordsman
The Mayor they met one floor up
“What? Visitors? Oh yes!
I’m just so lonely way up here
Can you my password guess?”
But AVALANCHE excused themselves
With apol’getic looks
“We really have no time, you see”
“And plus, I just hate books”
The next floor was some sort of maze
With items to be found
But since they were not puzzle geeks
They quickly went around
Sixty-four was the gym floor
With showers, lockers, saun’
Cloud wanted to ogle babes
But Barret dragged him on
Next they found a model town
With pieces to replace
Barret wondered who the hell
Had built this crazy place
Finally, on Sixty-six
An interesting sight
All the Shinra VIP’s
Were gathered there that night
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July 30th, 2010 by Wordsman
They were on Floor Sixty
And to top were drawing near
‘Cross the hall was a staircase
But they could four guards hear
Barret whispered, “We’ll sneak by
Avoid this one combat”
Cloud, still dizzy, dropped his sword
“Oops. Sorry about that”
Guards dispatched, the big man groaned
“There goes our chance at stealth”
“What’s the matter?” chuckled Cloud
“You worried ‘bout your health?”
“Charging in was fun, for sure
I’d do all that for free
But even I don’t wanna fight
The whole damn company!”
AVALANCHE trudged up the stairs
Not showing much aplomb
On Sixty-one they found a scene
Of most surprising calm
A man whose suit was sharp as tacks
Approached, gave them a key
“Now go and clean that bathroom
And be quick! I’ve got to pee”
“You . . . didn’t hear a fight below?
Shots fired? Busted doors?”
“Good lord! I’ve no time to keep track
Of all those lesser floors”
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July 23rd, 2010 by Wordsman
Past hails of bullets, stray grenades
They ducked in elevator
“Which floor?” asked Cloud. “Just hit one!
We’ll worry ‘bout it later”
Doors slammed shut, the ‘vator rose
They all sighed with relief
Then suddenly it went berserk
And caused them no small grief
“What’s happ’ning? Tifa! Save us, please!”
“You’re one who eas’ly scares
We never would have been stuck here
If we’d taken the stairs”
Tifa hit a button
And the ‘vator came to rest
The door popped ope’, a man looked in
“I’ll . . . wait. That would be best”
This scene repeated many times
They scared off lawyers, traders
Floors One through Fifty knew them as
The Elevator Raiders
Finally they reached a point
From which ‘twould not ascend
Cloud was not sure his poor gut
Would ever truly mend
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July 16th, 2010 by Wordsman
The three strode in, quite purposeful
To show they business meant
Barret said, “‘Scuse me, we’re here
To see the President”
“No one sees the President!
Not no one, not no how!”
The unobservant desk clerk
Looked up, saw the gun, said, “Wow”
“Oh, we got us an appointment
Check it: ‘AVALANCHE,’ at 9”
Cloud asked, “How long did you take
To come up with that line?”
“Shut up!” Then, to lobby whole:
“Now, everybody MOVE!
We’re here to wreck this place up good
To leave would you behoove”
Sirens blared, civilians fled
The lobby filled with guards
Barret cocked his gun. “It’s time
To send my fond regards”
AVALANCHE took some good time
To work out their aggression
There wasn’t anything like this
In the guard training session
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