Almost to the door was Cloud
The bridge all set to burn
When Tifa’s voice rang out with: “Wait!”
And forced the man to turn

“I’d like to help you,” Cloud explained
“But this just ain’t my fight
Go find some noble hippie guy
He’ll get the job done right”

“Refresh my mem’ry,” said suave Cloud
“I’d hate to have forgot
Though one thing you should know ‘bout me
Is I forget a lot”

“Thanks but no thanks,” Cloud replied
“That doesn’t sound too great
And while we’re on the subject
Time to get a few things straight

“I don’t care about your cause
The planet?  Meh, whatever
Will Shinra kill the planet?  Sure
But it’ll take forever

“I’m in this for the money, friend
Mor’listically I roam
And if you just make fun of me
Screw you, I’m going home”

“Fine by me,” the big man said
“Don’t need your ugly mug
Since you love Shinra so damn much
Just go give them a hug”

As Cloud stormed out, Jess cried, “Wait!  Stop!”
Perhaps with thoughts of wooing
“Juss let’im go,” drunk Wedge advised
“Yup.  He know what he doing”

His fun ruined, Cloud went below
To join up with the others
He really wasn’t wild about
This newfound band of brothers

“There’s Cloud!  There’s Cloud!” cried Jessie
Like she might break into song
Barret only grumbled
“What took you so goddamn long?

“Now you’re here, I’ve got to know
Something I’m wond’ring ‘bout
Was anyone from SOLDIER there
When we took that place out?”

“Sh’yeah right,” Cloud scoffed, “You really
Let this one go to your head
If more like me had been there
You would all be freakin’ dead”

“Dead?” squealed Jess.  “Wait, what?” said Biggs
Said Wedge, “Huh, who’d’a thunk?”
It really was quite obvious
That Wedge and Biggs were drunk

“Puh-leez,” said Barret, “I don’t think
That you’re really all that
Any time you wanna go
Come here; I’ll knock you flat”

Cloud could not keep his eyes off
That white t-shirt, stretch’ed tight
Somewhere above, a voice said, “Cloud
You do recall me, right?”

Cloud felt that things were going well
He’d get a kiss, or more
But then the shout of “Where’s that bum?”
Came from beneath the floor

Eventu’lly the train got to
The slums of Sector 7
“Guys!” said Biggs, “Let’s hit the bar!
Its name is 7th Heaven”

As it turned out, she was not
The girl with Barret went
When they left, Cloud could contemplate
This beauty, heaven-sent

The pack’ed train was silent
Speak up?  No one would dare it
Especially after they saw
The raging form of Barret

So all the passengers ignored
This group of terr’rist pigs
Even AVALANCHE ignored
The useless Wedge and Biggs

“Look here, Cloud,” said Jessie
When of cars they’d reached the third
Cloud saw the screen and thought, “Oh great
I saved some giant nerd”

“This map shows Midgar,” Jessie said
“The sectors, one through eight
And all the pillars that support
The giant upper plate

“This is the path the train will take
As down from plate it goes”
Cloud looked out and just said, “Man
This lower city blows”

“Shut your mouth!” big Barret yelled
“The hell you think you know?
The people only stay here cuz
They’ve got no place to go

“All o’ this is Shinra’s fault!”
The big man went off ranting
“Yeah!” cried Jessie, eyes a-spark
Cloud’s praise she started chanting

“Really!” said Cloud “It’s okay
No need to laud my feats, uhh . . .”
Toward the window, Barret said
“I hate this effin’ pizza”

In the car, gloom settled
Like a suffocating shroud
AVALANCHE, well, some of them,
Well, one worried ‘bout Cloud

“Maybe he got captured”
Said young Jessie, quite on edge
“Maybe he just ditched us”
Said the realistic Wedge

Then suddenly, with just a knock
Cloud from above descended
He, with a grin, said, “I’ve arrived
Your waiting now has ended”

Jessie cheered “Hurrah!  Hurrah!”
Then stopped, for fear of swooning
But there were some who thought Cloud’s show
Just overblown buffooning

“The hell was that for?” Barret yelled
“Are you effin’ insane?
Don’t you know the normal way
To get onto a train?

“Just get a seat!” he ordered
As he stormed off in a huff
“Don’t worry,” Jessie said to Cloud
“He’s really not that tough”

“Come on, Cloud,” said Jessie
As she seized the group’s new star
Leaving Biggs to wonder why
They had been in the cargo car

At this point, Cloud, our hero
He was feeling pretty good
But then he ran into the guards
He should have knocked on wood

Now ‘twas time for Cloud to say
“Let’s blow this pops’cle stand!”
Before he jumped, no one could know
That on a train he’d land

People running, screaming, flailing
Midgar’s streets were all a-whirl
Cloud cut through the crowds quite deftly
‘Fore he ran into a girl

Before the girl could say a thing
Cloud bolted at great rate
He never stopped to wonder
If the meeting had been fate

The scorpion shook, the men had won
They danced, they cried “Woo hoo!”
And then they saw ten minutes left
Until the whole place blew

They raced back up the ladders
While the seconds ticked away
And as they were about to leave
A plaintive voice said, “Stay”

Cloud turned around, and then he saw
‘Twas Jessie; she was stuck
He grumbled as he ran back
And he said, “Of all the luck . . .”

With Jessie free the band took off
It was down to the wire
They got out in the nick of time
Sky filled with mushroom fire

“Good job,” conceded Barret
His broad face filled with elation
“Now split up!  Don’t let none suspect
And meet back at the station”

Cloud tried in vain to stop them
All he wanted was his pay
Then he reluctantly went toward
The nearest alleyway